I miss exercising. I miss playing netball with my friends. I can’t do anything without wondering how much I will pay for it afterward.

I can’t eat what I like, do what I like or live how I used to and it’s so hard not to let it get me down.

I said a while back that if I could just have some sort of normality in my life, I could accept this illness. And some days that is true and I am grateful for what I can do that I couldn’t in January. But other days, when I am…

13th February

Tinnitus still

Slightly less pins and needles

Chest pain still

More spine pain

Weird sensation in neck and head, heavy, numbness and twitching

Swollen glands

Doing light stretching when I can and slow gentle plodding around the house

Feel worst in the AM on waking

13th February

Still tinnitus

Still pins and needles

Stomach pain

Feeling ‘fluey’ without the fever

Neck and back pain worse

Craniocervical instability worse

Tremors and heart palpitations worse

10th February

Heart palpitations


Pins and needles/numbness in hands, lower legs and feet

Chest tightness — particularly after eating at lunch time, had popcorn, red pepper and celery with hummus and a smoothie with strawberry, blueberry, mango and water — thinking the popcorn is the culprit…..

Chest wall pain — today mainly in sternum area radiating through to spine

General fatigue and shakes when moving about

Or post viral fatigue or whatever name you want to give it.

It’s hell. Absolutely one of the worst things I have ever been through.

I hope one day I can look back at all this and say “omg remember when i was so ill wasn’t that awful” but who knows when that day will be. And that’s one of the worst bits.

I first got ill with suspected covid on 26th November after going into school several days the week before.

Symptoms were as you’d expect — fever, tight chest, sweats, headache etc. Within 2 weeks (with paracetamol, inhalers…

WOW I have been ill. The last two weeks have been hell. on. earth.

I never ever ever ever want to take steroids again. I thought I was feeling unwell before but this is next. level.

I have now been unwell for just over 9 weeks and the last 2 have been the absolute worst I have ever felt. I had a bad reaction to a strong dose of prednisolone and then didn’t taper off it, so have been experiencing (also bad) withdrawal symptoms.

The first week off of them was panic attacks, constant anxiety, tremors, nausea, no appetite and…

I just had to google how to hashtag on a Mac. Option+3. Something new every day and all that.

We are in lockdown 3.0 in the UK and I haven’t been on here since lockdown 1.0. Reading back my last blog post I feel like, wow, here we are again.

But this time, it’s worse.

This time the NHS is being crippled. 1 in 30 people in the capital have the disease. This time, my Granny isn’t here because the disease took her like it has taken thousands and thousands of lives across the country.

It is hard, so very…

Weird I haven’t written here sooner.

Dear God,

If I did believe you exist, which I am sometimes unsure that I don’t, but if I 100% did, I would pray to you as hard as I possibly could that things get better. For everyone.

And that Coronavirus would simply pack its bags and go. ’Cause this situation is not doing anyone any favours.

I promise never to take for granted again, sitting in a cobbled square in the South of France with a coffee too bitter for my tastebuds.

I promise never to roll my eyes if there is a…

I have put on weight.

Not sure how much although I am pretty sure it’s around a stone. None of my clothes feel comfortable (some of them don’t even fit).

And whilst I’d love to blame it on something outside my control, I cannot.

I have been exercising less and eating more. Lots more. Comfort eating and boredom eating and eating just ’cause popcorn and chocolate is darn tasty.

But I also recognise that it does not make me feel my best, at all.

Lots of things suffer. My energy levels, my skin, my bank balance and my mood.

Which is why I am making a change from today. I am putting my health and well-being before my sugar cravings.

See ya later love handles.

I can see clearly now the brain fog has gone.

My attachment style is “insecure anxious” which, after reading up on attachment styles, took me all of about 4 seconds to figure out. I hated leaving my Mum when I was little. I cried when she dropped me off at nursery every. single. day. (God that must have been exhausting for her).

I grew up with 4 siblings and craved attention and affection and needed the safety blanket of my family at all times despite being incredibly loved and well looked after.

As a teen, my anxieties manifested themselves in…


Less of a blog, more of a diary

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